the most morbid post yet

At least i'm still alive...

...the most morbid day of my life at I-95 south in Carmel on Monday, March 31, 2008.

all i remember was the car spinning as it swerved off the highway and smashed into the trees...spinning and screaming...spinning and screaming...

you know some movies show flashes of scenes when some kind of emergency sorta tragedy happens, for example prior to the crash of an airplane, the director roles and the 1st scene - the plane starts shaking violently, then it's darkness, then flash 2nd scene, people screaming, then darkness, 3rd scene the oxygen masks drops from the top compartment, then darkness...on and on it roles...until there's nothing left...

that's exactly what it felt like. that's the feeling i felt when i saw myself at the brink of death...

i vaguely remember myself being caught in the side window of the car, my body bent forward at an extreme position, like that of a contortionist. My back hurt so badly, i pushed myself out...the car must have still been spinning cause the next thing i knew, i was under the wheel...

there, lying in a pool of water (snow which had melted from the heat of the car)...in shock, cold and crying...i saw my arm under the wheel, i decided that it would be better if i just died there and then...and then i reached out with my bleeding right hand to feel my left arm and to my relief, it wasn't under the wheel, it was just my jacket that was pinned under...and if you were wondering, yes, at the point of death and in extreme shock, all common sense and all basic instinct left me and i ACTUALLY had to literally feel my left arm to realise that it wasn't under the wheel. i didn't know otherwise.

but my back felt awkward, weird, not really painful, it just felt like there was something really wrong, couldn't place exactly what was wrong at that time, just that it felt weak and weird...and there was so much blood...my head was bleeding badly...but then i didn't know either, i couldn't see the back of my head, i just saw all of it on my right hand, there were deep cuts but it didn't make sense to me, cause even so, there wouldn't be THAT MUCH...until i touched the back of my head and there was more blood...that was when i REALLY panicked and cried more, why was there sooo much blood??? oh Lord, please save me, please, i don't wana die...

car accident: very bad..............

car accident, injured and bleeding: very, very , very bad....

car accident, injured and bleeding in a blistering cold weather: not funny AT ALL.....

I was freezing, my clothes were soaked to the skin and i was shivering like crazy, i probably looked like i was electrocuted at the rate i was shivering, wp and bee gave me their jackets to protect me from the chills but it was hardly any use cause it was too damn bloody cold...then the firemen finally came...in what seemed like eternity...they covered me up more and a really good-looking fireman then cupped his hands around my ears and held my head firm (probably to prevent me from moving my head more), i suddenly felt a surge of warmth, no, not cause he was so damn good-looking, duh....it's cause your ears tend to lose the most heat and what he did really helped to warm me up a little. But he did look like an angel at that point of time, under the sun rays and all... i relaxed a little and had stopped crying by then

And then another firman told me that they had to cut up my jacket...i panicked again...

To my amazement, I said the most bimbotic thing ever, yes, even from me, sheez...

"Please don't cut my shirt inside, don't cut it!!"...i liked that bloody top...they cut up my freaking top!! Stupid firemen.That top cost a friggin' 40+ bucks and they cut it up without even a bat of an eye...

Yar...i'm still amazed at myself, even with a litre of blood flowing from my head, even with possible hypothermia and even with an arm caught under a car wheel, i still managed the energy to get mad at the fireman for cutting up my top.

Stupid firman....stupid, stupid fireman...

After cutting up my jacket AND my top, they proceeded to lift me and and place me on a stretcher, which was the hardest thing i've ever laid on by the way....

Apparantly they had to saw the branches off to get the stretcher to me cause the car was in the woods, they carried me up and out of the woods and onto the ambulance, after which they took off my jeans and cut up more of my top(!!!) until i was left in my undies....this was in front of men(firemen) i've never met before in my entire life...how humiliating...they put hot pads and injected warm fluid into me intravenally to keep me warm....As I lay on the INCREDIBLY HARD stretcher, the firemen started asking me questions, i couldn't keep my mouth shut about the hardness of the stretcher. When i suggested to them that they needed to change the stretcher cause it was horribly uncomfortable, they burst out laughing -_-" Alrightzzz, i know it's meant to be hard to support the back in case of injury but...argh...

They drove me down to Eastern Maine Medical Centre (EMMC), where i was pushed into the emergency room. A nurse was on standby and he started talking to me to kept my mind occupied instead of waiting for the doctors to arrive. The conversation went on and on and we started talking about his brother who's also an accountant working in ontario i think and how it's such a good job and his brother gets to travel alot...If you weren't there and you couldn't see me in my state, you would have imagined 2 perfectly normal friends having a normal conversation over a cup of coffee...but the fact was, i was on a hospital bed covered in blood, bruises and twigs and i probably smelled like "a million bucks"...

Another nurse came in and she was like "oh my, i saw the news just before i came to work, it must have been terrible experience huh" My first thought? Wah, the reporters here so efficient, i only just had an accident and it's already on the news, they even managed to snap shots too!! Crazy man...They're like those japanese samurai who can pop out at any place, any time, any where...

this is the photo the reporters took on the scene of the accident, that's me on the stretcher...so no face can...my one and only time on a provincial newpaper has to be like that...just great... fantastic...

The female nurse then told me that she was going to give me a folly(or however you spell it, it's the thing you have to put into your urethra to help you pee when you're bedridden and can't get up)....that was my worst nightmare...really...1) it was humiliating 2) it was @#%^& painful especially with a broken back 3)and after poking and probing at my groin, she still couldn't put it in place, which meant they'll hafta get another nurse to do it again.....which meant another round of painful humiliation. which a day later proved to be many, many, many rounds of humiliation because they got 1 nurse after another to do it, waking me up from my sleep in wee hours of the night, each attempt as unsuccessful as the other, leaving me in extreme annoyance.

1st time - "oh gosh, go away, i don't wana put whatever folly, it's humiliating!!"

2nd time - "go AWAY. one is humiliating enough, now there's a 2nd one"

3rd time - "oh great, how many nurses are there gona be, please just kill me right now"

4th time - "wth, just do it already, stop bothering me and get it over and done with, you incompetent nurses!!"

5th time - "zzZZZZZZZ, huh?? zzZZZZ" (it was probably already 2 am and yes, the nerve of them to wake me up!!)

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100th time (obviously not 100 times, i'm exagerrating, but it felt like the 100th time) - "DO IT!! DO IT! QUICK!! LET ME SLEEP!!"

.... they finally did around....4am on the second night. wth.

I realized i've drifted out of point. Anyway, the first day of the accident, i waited and waited and waited till it was late at night when they finally managed to get me a room in the hospital. By then, i had drifted in and out of sleep thousands and millions of times and they had me hooked up to the IV and had me taking painkillers every 5 minutes (wouldn't people get addicted to painkillers at this rate??) They did MR scans and hellava other scans to check for any injuries and whaddya know, i got a 50% compression of my L1 vertebra, a C4 fracture on my neck and at that time, they didn't manage to spot it, but i also suffered a crack on my right elbow.

Freaking lotta injuries, plus bruises all over my back legz and arms and hands and a deep cut on my head.

One hellava memorable road trip.