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I WANT TO SCREAM!!!!!!
i have had it. this is too much...there's only this much anybody can take!!!!!!!!! i knew i was running a streak of bad luck but this is enough, i can't stand it anymore...i can't BELIEVE my handphone's joystick came out and all i did was pull it out from my bag (probably a bit forcefully) during the Indiana Jones movie cause it was ringing and making such a din. AND NOW I CAN'T USE THE DAMN PHONE...i hate this, how can any normal person experience soo many bad things in a matter of 2 mths??!!!
first it was the car accident, then the loss of a bloody lotta hair corz the freaking nurse yanked them all out and horrifyingly ugly scars on my hands, and there was the horrible flight back home with my fair share of VERY terrible air turbulence, people screaming and vomitting, delayed flights because of MIA pilot, unwanted stayovers and LOST luggage. AND that's not all!! When i came back, we got into another car accident!! Some idiot hit us from the back and now our car is scratched and probably slightly dented. And on the very same day, some branch or something heavy fell onto our car roof while my dad was driving and he swerved on the road!! thankfully no car hit us AGAIN!! When i finally thought all my bad luck had run its course, the doctors suddenly dropped an atomic bomb-like news on me and suggested me to go for surgery which would leave a 8-9inch permanent scar on my body and steel rods in my bones. And then they suggested i wear the body brace for a longer period of time, 3 months to be exact!! And i hate the braces corz i look retarded and i can't wear all the clothes i got (unknowingly i got sooo much new clothings becorz i was so depressed, i almost revamped my entire closet). And i can't do simple things like going for a jog, taking public transport, attending people's parties and i still gotta go PA with the stupid looking braces!
I really hate myself now, i hate everything. i feel fat and wish i was determined enough to be aneroxic. i hate the ugly bone that's jutting out. i hate the scars. i hate that i don't even have tears to cry. And most of all i hate this self-deprecating me when soo many myanmar cyclone and china earthquake victims are so much worse off than me. And now this!!! Why did my phone have to spoil on me?!! Do i deserve this?? Have i done anything wrong that i have to be punished this way?!! Why is sooo many things going wrong this year?? Not only for me but also for the cyclone victims and china earthquake victims, do they deserve to die??! Why must so many parents lose their only child? why must a child's dreams of becoming a ballerina be dashed because of an amputated leg??
I don't get it, i just don't get it. i don't want to.
i have had it. this is too much...there's only this much anybody can take!!!!!!!!! i knew i was running a streak of bad luck but this is enough, i can't stand it anymore...i can't BELIEVE my handphone's joystick came out and all i did was pull it out from my bag (probably a bit forcefully) during the Indiana Jones movie cause it was ringing and making such a din. AND NOW I CAN'T USE THE DAMN PHONE...i hate this, how can any normal person experience soo many bad things in a matter of 2 mths??!!!
first it was the car accident, then the loss of a bloody lotta hair corz the freaking nurse yanked them all out and horrifyingly ugly scars on my hands, and there was the horrible flight back home with my fair share of VERY terrible air turbulence, people screaming and vomitting, delayed flights because of MIA pilot, unwanted stayovers and LOST luggage. AND that's not all!! When i came back, we got into another car accident!! Some idiot hit us from the back and now our car is scratched and probably slightly dented. And on the very same day, some branch or something heavy fell onto our car roof while my dad was driving and he swerved on the road!! thankfully no car hit us AGAIN!! When i finally thought all my bad luck had run its course, the doctors suddenly dropped an atomic bomb-like news on me and suggested me to go for surgery which would leave a 8-9inch permanent scar on my body and steel rods in my bones. And then they suggested i wear the body brace for a longer period of time, 3 months to be exact!! And i hate the braces corz i look retarded and i can't wear all the clothes i got (unknowingly i got sooo much new clothings becorz i was so depressed, i almost revamped my entire closet). And i can't do simple things like going for a jog, taking public transport, attending people's parties and i still gotta go PA with the stupid looking braces!
I really hate myself now, i hate everything. i feel fat and wish i was determined enough to be aneroxic. i hate the ugly bone that's jutting out. i hate the scars. i hate that i don't even have tears to cry. And most of all i hate this self-deprecating me when soo many myanmar cyclone and china earthquake victims are so much worse off than me. And now this!!! Why did my phone have to spoil on me?!! Do i deserve this?? Have i done anything wrong that i have to be punished this way?!! Why is sooo many things going wrong this year?? Not only for me but also for the cyclone victims and china earthquake victims, do they deserve to die??! Why must so many parents lose their only child? why must a child's dreams of becoming a ballerina be dashed because of an amputated leg??
I don't get it, i just don't get it. i don't want to.
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okay, i'm fine now, i just needed to vent my pent up frustrations or i'll go crazy, mad, insane....
Anyway, jess, glad you liked the present, hope the camera works well, quickly go get film and try it out :) And happy early 21st and i must emphasize, 21st not 21th, birthday!! Sorry the cake was small and all cause we figured that you wouldn't eat a big cake if we bought one. But hope u liked all the presents :) And my long, long letter too, lolx.
Wishing you lotsa good luck(very important) and happiness this year!! *hugs*
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