omg.

i just found out my primary school mate was recently on the news...

for being prosecuted on charges of having sex with minors.

what is the world coming to seriously.

found out about it while i was surfing the internet and happened to chance upon an article...

"trainee teacher has sex with 12 year old gal"

wth.

the name of the prosecuted seemed familiar and when i searched more into the case and found pictures...

i realised i knew that guy.

so coincidently, just a few weeks ago, he'd wished me happy birthday on fb.

i feel sick in the stomach.

it feels like as you grow older, you find the people around you changing, each becoming individuals, forming different kinds of personalities...

people die, people commit crimes, people get married, people get jobs, work, start a family...

sometimes, i feel like the world is spinning outta control and i can't control time from slipping through my fingers. there is so much things i wish i had done, wish i'd achieved.

and so another year has passed and i look on at what i've achieved...

my mind goes blank.

i wana do great things. i don't want to die w/o people knowing i existed.

sometimes i think maybe it's even good to just be known for something notorious. at least you are remembered. even if people remember you with distaste. but at least you made some kind of impact on the world.

i feel like there's this exploding desire in me to do great, awesome things and that i'm repressing all this emotions and letting time slip away.

but i don't know what is it that i wana do...i do, however, know what kind of life i do not want...i don't want a typical lifestyle...i wish i had a more adventurous spirit.

i need God to show me my purpose, a dream, that spark within me again.

to fill complete and satisfied with my life and myself.